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The Turkey Baster Creationist Thread


Posted on Tue, 05/06/2008 - 09:12 — by BazookaJoe
BazookaJoe
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My God! I finally checked out that Turkey Baster Creationist thread. What is that all about? There's like hundreds, if not thousands, of really long posts by someone who calls themself "Ohso." How can someone have that long a conversation without any other interjection from other people? I know you OFEC guys have taken a lot of heat on this discussion board, but I have to give you props because the only non-Ohso contributors on that thread are from Cowboy, Stoney, and Whirlpeas. The only posts worth reading, if you ask me. Since I can't possibly read all that to catch up, in a nutshell, what is Ohso saying on that thread? That we all came from one big turkey baster and the earth is one big petri dish? If that's what he's saying, who's holding the microscope? Is he discounting a divine creator altogether? Is he saying we've all been turkey bastered? Should we be offended? I'd like to contribute to that thread, but I can't tell what his angle is. Please enlighten me. Disclaimer: no turkey baster was used in the creation of this thread.
No votes yet
‹ Federal Glover vs Erik Nunn. Who would you pick? Horse Racing ›

Tue, 05/06/2008 - 09:21 — Is there a biblical self-basting angle to this?
stoney4
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Don't you know that you're just making shrill harpy mau mauing comments?
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 11:11 — Don't get me wrong, I'm not
BazookaJoe
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Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start a heated discussion on creation vs. evolution, I'm just trying to understand Ohso's theory and what his long manifest is saying. No matter how hard I try to distance myself from controversial topics, I seem to get sucked into them, well... kind of like there's a giant turkey baster with an undeniable force so great it can't be repelled. Once I understand what all this turkey baster business is about, I can then look for any clogs in his theory. Until then, I'm just trying to separate the fat from the meat in his posts just like anybody would. The rest is gravy. Ohso relevant and, Oh, so, confusing!
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 11:17 — We need charts & visual aids (oops... I guess not aids)
stoney4
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Does this have anything to do with that giant sucking sound Ross Perot kept talking about?
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 11:30 — Mau, mau, brown cow,Your
BazookaJoe
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Mau, mau, brown cow, Your reply has run a fowl, For if, say you, That turkeys rule, and cows meow, You lack the wisdom, of Simon Cowell.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 11:39 — Reading Ohso's rants have
stoney4
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Reading Ohso's rants have made me weary I've grown oh so tired, my eyes are bleary His paranoia makes him seem so feary All this negativity makes these forums dreary
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 11:44 — Oh boy, Clayton's going to
BazookaJoe
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Oh boy, Clayton's going to have a field day now after she sees that one. LOL
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 12:00 — I'm shakin' in my boots
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Big deal!! I wonder, if people had a choice between reading Ohso's endless rants, Clayton's endless debates with shays or bad poetry, which would they choose?
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 13:30 — stoney4's Poll
TinRoof
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I vote for the bad poetry, and I don't even like good poetry! :] I love to read but I don't have the time to read these dissertations. Succinct postings are all my attention span will permit. Stoney4 your postings with BazookaJoe and others amuse me.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 13:43 — Bad Poetry 1; Ohso 0; Clayton/shays 0
stoney4
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Thanks for the vote of confidence TinRoof. I'd start an actual poll but the poll section is swamped by sports topics and my guess is hardly anyone would check it out and if a Raider fanatic stumbled on my poll it would get ripped to shreds. God knows that my ego has taken such a beating by Clayton lately, I'm seriously considering therapy.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 17:41 — The first step
001
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The first step in therapy is going to be admitting that you have a hump. You just can't go on with this "What hump?" denial of issues. Once you have accepted it, the therapist can then go on with you about the beatings being administered by Ms. Clayton, and the fear of getting ripped to shreds by fanatic Raider supporters. You are safe in your own little OFEC world, but sometimes you have to venture outside and take some chances, not unlike BJ going right at Ohso in creating this thread.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 18:05 — My philosophy on therapy
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I believe that I am sane. The other guy is mad as a hatter. Therapists are the mercury. Therefore, it is best to stay away from therapists.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 18:15 — Oh Lord...stuck in Lodi again
stoney4
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The celebrities with all that disposable income can afford to rehab and get their minds straight at the Betty Ford Clinic. I'm on a tighter budget and will have to settle for the Pat Nixon clinic in Lodi. It's a brown bag affair unless you pay extra for meals catered from the Denny's across the street.
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 18:52 — The Neo Creationist Turkey
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The Neo Creationist Turkey Baster theory on the origin of life:
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 18:59 — Was that brined or not?
stoney4
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Was that brined or not?
Tue, 05/06/2008 - 19:59 — Only 1 person has the recipe
BazookaJoe
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Only 1 person has the recipe and he ain't telling, although many have tried unsuccessfully to replicate it. As long as God had a hand in it, what difference does it make if he used a turkey baster or not? Although, I don't think the Cardinals in the Sistine Chapel would have been too pleased with Michelangelo if he drew it up that way.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 16:07 — Hey BJ, Ohso never made any
stoney4
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Hey BJ, Ohso never made any comment on the visual that you provided for us depicting what must be the image in his mind's eye of the Neo Creationist Baster Theory. What's up with that? Except for a few rants about the resident harpy mau mau crowd out here, I get the feeling he never bothers to read anyone else's posts. That's not very courteous is it? Aren't these forums supposed to be a two way street? Is it legal for him to just keep cutting and pasteing propaganda?
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 16:22 — Turkey Baster Creations
cowboy1539
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I'm a little lost here because this is the only thing I've created with the help of a turkey baster.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 16:24 — Oh yeah babe. That look
stoney4
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Oh yeah babe. That look goooood.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 17:23 — That turkey almost looks
BazookaJoe
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That turkey almost looks like it's enjoying itself lying back on a weber chaise lounge and catching some rays. Is that an i-pod attached to it?
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:07 — Is that an i-pod attached to it?
cowboy1539
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Yes, I was pumping Jethro Tull into it as a tenderizer!
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:13 — "Love me tender. Love me do. Never let me go."
stoney4
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Why not Elvis?
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:13 — "Sitting on a park bench..."
BazookaJoe
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"Sitting on a park bench..."
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:19 — Tull
cowboy1539
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"Locomotive Breath"
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:38 — can't or won't read.....
crysalis
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<<< I get the feeling he never bothers to read anyone else's posts >>>>>> This is probably very true, His orations are dull, stupid, nonsensical pieces of drivel....I think a few posters go by several different names, but they all write the same crap. In his fanatical, egotistical little world of OHSO there is just one supreme being and it is he (she, both?) It would takes years just to read thru them so I don't. Tried once or twice and my head starting spinning and spewing pea-green soup outta my nostrils. Downed a couple of Prozac and I was fine again. I have to be sure when I move to Montana that he doesn't have a one room schack nearby wherein he is writing a manifesto......
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:39 — Montana
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Where at in Montana? I getting ready to head out on my annual road trip to Lima Montana.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 18:46 — where in mt?(nothing to do with thread)
crysalis
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Hamilton, south of Missoula, hubby already moved there in January :( I have the better job, hard to give it up til he has a solid job. I have one lined-up there already . I grew up in the hills of Lafayette north of the BART station (before the freeway was even there), feels like going home.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 19:00 — Montana
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Know people in Missoula, seems like a nice town. I hang in Lima which is about 20 miles north of the Idaho border on I-15. It's a one bar town but great people and is at the head of the Centenial Valley. If you are ever out that way you have to stop at The Peat Bar. Dan has great steaks and you cook them yourself on the gas grill in the middle of the bar. The reason you cook them is that he got tired of people complaining about how they were done. This way if you dont like them you go into the restroom and look in the mirror and whine to the cook. Actually it's a great place.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 20:29 — One of my best childhood
stoney4
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One of my best childhood friends used to live up in the Big Sky area years ago. He spent part of the time cooking chuck wagon food for hunting parties and ran the Almart Lodge for a while. I went up to visit him one summer. Beautiful country but he said those winters were the coldest he's ever been in his life. He said it was nothing out of the ordinary for one of the locals to get drunk and if he got a burr up his butt he might pull up in the driveway outside the bar and unload his .45 into the place. And we think we have it rough here in Antioch.
Sun, 05/18/2008 - 20:55 — Montana
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The first time I was in Montana it was early March. An Arctic cold front came thru and it was 15 below the first morning. It hurt to breathe. As for problems at the bar, there ain't problems at The Peat as it is the only game in town and if you get tossed you are S.O.L. And trust me if you piss Dan (owner) off you will get tossed. Last year a new guy made the mistake of arguing over the price of cigarettes and got tossed. He left looking like his dog died. But you are right its beautiful country. Great people too.
Mon, 06/02/2008 - 12:11 — OMG how did I miss this thread when it started?
whirledpeas
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Dang, and it has everything I like in a good thread. Cooking tips, Montana travel reports, Bars, Poetry, veiled insults, and not so veiled insults. This must have started when my laptop broke when I was traveling. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peas
Wed, 05/07/2008 - 06:48 — where is this turkey basting
jhd1200
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where is this turkey basting post?
Wed, 05/07/2008 - 07:52 — Try this link JHD, but if
BazookaJoe
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Try this link JHD, but if you check it out, be prepared to get a brain cramp! http://forums.contracostatimes.com/forums/node/9441
Wed, 05/07/2008 - 16:42 — forget it one scroll down
jhd1200
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forget it one scroll down that thread and i was gone,my attention span cant handle it. that was oh,so long of a thread.
Wed, 05/07/2008 - 16:46 — Told ya!
BazookaJoe
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Told ya!

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