Posted on Monday, 6/29/2009 - 6:42 a.m. PDT — by knowitlady
I find myself feeling for them, yet not having much sympathy -- at the same time. Compassion for dealing with cancer. It also sounds like they got in over their heads financially, as so many did.
Joined: Sep 2006
Current Posts: 4865
It's sad all the way around, for me. This recession has been brutal where you can't even walk away and start over because it's hard to find a job. Then add the emotional and physical problems caused by the the health issues and financial stress, and it's really heartbreaking. I have to appreciate their strength to try and get through it.
I really hope they get some kind of break and hopefully the wife's cancer remission is the start of things going right for them. The kids are affected by it and the parents sound like they are just trying to do all they can to provide for them. It breaks your heart. I hope some good fortune comes their way as well as the countless other families that are in the same situation.
Good story, it shows a very real side of what is going on and the every day predicament that many people wake up to. Kind of reminds us how fast things can change with just a few life-altering events. I hope this economy starts improving soon so people like them can get some renewed hope that better days are on the horizon.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Current Posts: 180
I dont think that is very nice what you said,ok they might have lived it up but you might have done the same thing,and besides no one should go threw that. my prayers are with the family.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
They lived WAY above where they should have and where they are now financially should be NO surprise. The husband fell asleep and struck another motorist. He could have killed someone. The cancer is sad very sad. We all deal with health issues and this is painful indeed. I wish nothing but the best for the woman. The mess they are now in (not the medical part) is 100% avoidable.
It is called persoanl responsability. We have all forgotton about that.
Joined: Apr 2008
Current Posts: 107
they paid their bills, had retirement accounts, savings for college - who could forsee this many disasters in that limited amount of time? No matter what they had saved, it would be impossible to navigate this storm. And no disability for him? Huh? Some of your comments sound like jealousy and vindictiveness. You seem to take some measure of pleasure that someone who was living in a way you would like is now suffering. Your compassion, if you had any, wouldn't be worth much anyway.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
I live in Danville. My house will be 100% paid off in fives years (less if we lose deduction). This family and so many others overspent. You have to have 6 months of savings. 401 and college are good so they got that right. I take no pleasure in any of this mess but it is MY TAX dollars that will be paying for the mistakes of others.
I dont vacation the way they do. I did not buy a bigger house than what I needed or could afford. I could easily have moved to a bigger house ten years ago but decided to convert to a fifteen year fixed rate. I save money every single check that I have. I have not had a car payment in almost 20 years. I buy a Honda, I drive about 200K miles. While driving I save for my next Honda and do it all over again. My wife and I do vacation but we also watch our dollars on a budget that we track every single month.
What happened financially was avoidable for most people that have lost so much but we as a culture "need" more, bigger, better, NOW.
Joined: Jun 2009
Current Posts: 4
This family worked hard to get what they had!!! They had savings, retirement, college funds etc.... The only reason the money is gone is because they BOTH had serious health issues leaving them unable to work for a very long period of time. I know this family. There has been cancer, several surgerys, illness, and of course the housing market and economy. Their kids are losing their mother, home,income, security, and have an uncertain future. They lived like everybody else did in good times. God help ANYBODY whose household lost their income and health for such a long period. I pray they catch a break soon!!!
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
I am very sorry for their health. I am a cancer survivor so I know exactly what it is like. We had to watch two members of my wifes family die due to cancer in the past year.
Cancer hits all of our families. On this issue I am with the family 100%.
But that is only part of the story. I do agree they lived like everybody else and that is the problem. This is how we all got in this mess.
How much of what they bought in the "good times" seem like more than they needed now?
Here is a quote from the article:
"His six-figure income enabled him and Sandy to celebrate their anniversary with weeklong trips to Las Vegas and buy a 24-foot cabin cruiser."
Buying this boat had to be one of the dumbest things you could possibly buy.
Buying a boat is a terrible investment. Six figures in the bay area is NOT that much.
They could NOT afford this boat.
Joined: Aug 2007
Current Posts: 386
There is an old saying my great-grandparents shared, which describes these folks perfectly..."negroe-rich". That is, having enough money to think you are wealthy (but aren't), and thinking you will always have it (not). Really these folks are not bright enough to realise, as several posters have commented, that "six figures" is very modest for the area. Top it off with boats and profligate spending, and here you are. Too bad about the health issues, though...but everything else is plain and simple. Too bad. Welcome to the "lives of quiet desperation" shared by most of humanity.
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 270
hamner94561 wrote “The only reason the money is gone is because they BOTH had serious health issues leaving them unable to work for a very long period of time.”
Sorry, I don’t agree with that and am afraid this is an all too typical story that will get replayed many times as the recession continues. A bit of financial advice I’ve often heard is keeping six months of expenses in savings. What I have not heard much about what to do if you ever dip below that number. Too many people bank on hope rather than taking those hard first steps to immediately tone down your lifestyle so that you don’t continue to burn the savings. By nature we hope that things will turn around before the bank account hits zero. If your income is $2,029/month and your mortgage is around $2,800/month then you are banking on a lot of hope by taking out a home equity loan to pay for medical and living expenses that also boosts the mortgage to $5,555/month.
Admitting failure is such an anti-American or un-American thing to do isn’t it? That’s what we have to do when we cut expenses so that we continue to live within our means. People mull over “what will the neighbors and relatives think if we don’t keep up our lifestyle?” Oddly, from what I’ve seen, they don’t mind when you dish the BMW, the boat, private schools for the kids, health club memberships, and even the house if needed, and instead get around in an old beater (or take the bus) while living out of a relative’s room and working to get back on your feet. Stay away from cigarettes, booze, and lottery tickets all of which are “taxes” designed to keep people poor.
The article does not mention if the Anthonys are getting treatment for depression nor is it clear if they have medical insurance at this point. It’s also not clear if they are getting outside financial advice that can outline their options. Something is not adding up in this story – they should have gone under long ago and so apparently have, or had, other resources such as inheritances.
Good luck and best wishes for the Anthonys. Going public with this news article seems like a good thing as it'll allow them to shed the old lifestyle.
Joined: Aug 2007
Current Posts: 386
So what is the point of this article?
Joined: Jun 2009
Current Posts: 1
The point of this article seems to be to engender sympathy for people who bought disaster upon their family by "livin' large". Are we supposed to feel sorry for these folks because they have no money left?
A $600,000 house, a boat, multiple vehicles, posh resort vacations, computers for the whole family, gambling vacations to Vegas, 15 day cruises, ocean kayaks, and God knows what else they blew their money on instead of saving something for a rainy day! Well, now the monsoon is here and they have no umbrella. Boo Hoo!
If they hadn't been spendthrifts and trying to live large, they wouldn't be in this position today. Anyone with any sense knows that in today's economy you need at least a year's worth of income saved in case of job loss. Even more, when you choose to live your life like these folks did. They shouldn't expect sympathy from strangers because they've lost their house. It sounds like they never owned much of it in the first place.
I hope the public who reads this article learns something about economy -- it may prevent such things from happening to them.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 21
is that most of us are only a few paychecks away from being homeless. You can have plenty of savings and lead a thrifty lifestyle and if you are faced with a catastrophic illness such as cancer, you will find out how fast all your savings goes down the drain. Oh, but you have insurance? HAHA Sure you do, until the insurance drops you or raises your premium so high you can't afford it. This guy had his own business - he wasn't under any "group policy". The insurance companies can drop an individual policy holder like a hot potato and the policy holder will have no recourse. So if you're consoling yourself that by not having a car payment for the last 20 years you will escape the same fate if you are struck with a catastrophic illness, dream on baby. I think it's good they enjoyed life while they could because either way, they would have ended up in the same boat.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
You can buy your own group insurance as I have in the past to insure you and your family. I owe next to nothing, I can pay off my house now if I needed to. They spent their way into the mess, (health issues excluded)
And now I will have to help pay for this.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 21
I'm not talking about buying a family policy ding dong, I'm talking about buying a "group" policy like when you're employed by a big company that offers group medical insurance. That's the only way they CAN'T cancel you -- as long as you're part of a group. On an individual policy (whether it be for you alone or you and your family) thay can cut you loose at whim. You have been fortunate enough to not suffer a catastrophic illness. Try getting cancer, and then after you lose your insurance because they raise your premium so high you cannot afford, see how long that money you have saved will last. You don't know because you haven't been there. I worked for an insurance company for years and saw it happen all the time. Insurance companies are not non-profits. They aren't going to keep insuring someone who is costing them too much money.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
I am talking about a group policy.
I had a company with three employees, me, my wife and one other person. This was enought to get group coverage and it was affordable (Blue Cross PPO).
They spent foolishly end of story.
Headline could have read............
There were three little pigs. We are going to focus on either of the two that built their homes on bad foundation. This is an old story but many americans forgot it.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 21
that could be your motto. yes, you had a small group policy, and you were lucky everyone in your small little group stayed healthy and didn't file any big claims that are associated with a catastrophic illness, because what would have happened, [bleep], is that your premiums would have not doubled or quadrupled, but would have gone up about 700%. In a large group policy that a big company has, a catastrophic claim can be "balanced" because of the sheer number of the members. Not so with individual policies or small groups. If you think I'm full of it, fine But I am telling it like it is. There are plenty of cases out there where individuals have lost their health coverage because they couldn't afford it after their premiums shot up because of a catastrophic claim. And if you already have a history of cancer, they won't even give you a policy. Now go back to your armchair Archie Bunker you dumb dick.
Joined: Jul 2004
Current Posts: 51
in our faces! Good ol' boys... if the rich ain't gettin' richer then we're to pity them! Where were they 12 years ago when I, my daughter and my ex had just gotten evicted after I had become 100% disabled after getting run over by an OAKLAD COP CAR and my van was stolen with everything we owned in it? The cops who took our complaint Officer Behr and his partner tried their best to get us some media coverage in hopes of getting our van, or at least our clothes and our 4 year old daughter's toys returned but NO DICE! We weren't "interesting" enough.
Buy boy! You let one of their own feel the pinch and they rally around them all the way down! It's CLASSIM! PURE UNALDULERATED CLASSISM!
Joined: Nov 2005
Current Posts: 13
... is simply to feature a local family that has experienced an extraordinary number of setbacks over the last few years. That's what caught our attention -- the sheer breadth and depth of their problems. It's not for us to moralize or engender sympathy.
Rowena Coetsee, Bay Area News Group -- East County Times
Joined: Jun 2009
Current Posts: 9
The familly had certainly a lot of bad news, but it is not clear from the article how the health problems of the grandparents should have had any influence on the financial situation of the couple. How much were the medical bills? Did they have insurance to pay for the cancer treatments the hip replacement the apendectomy? I would assume they did have insurance since Don had hip replacement in October 2003 and the couple went on a 15 day cruise to Puerto Rico in June 2004. The 5555 mortgage on a 600K house seems wrong. Assuming they had no money down and had a 600K loan at 6% the payment including property tax, PMI and insurance would be about 4500 a month. I don't want to be hard on this family, and I certainly feel for them on the health issues, and whiler there are truly situations which lead to financial problems I don't see them explained in this case. I just cant feel sorry that they had to sell her father's gun collection fithth wheel or fully loaded four whelel drive persumably from their inheritance.
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Current Posts: 3
real.. why would you even report on this?
Joined: Mar 2009
Current Posts: 68
i think that there needs to be real working class solidarity in these situations. i twould be nice if people actually went and helped this family hold their home until they could secure somewhere else to live.
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 270
expertwitness, Thanks for the heads up about the contractor license board. Take a look at license #413548 which is owned by Donald Lee Anthony Jr. with the business address in Pleasanton. Their license is currently suspended due to an accusation that apparently has enough merit to warrant suspension. The suspension must have been in the last couple of years as the bonding was cancelled last July.
That’s a great score on the web site. This also ties with a 52 year old Donald L. Anthony in Knightsen who is also reported as having house in Brentwood, South Lake Tahoe (the former brother’s place?), and also Pleasanton or Livermore which would tie in with the business address and may be a former residence or a parent’s place.
The Anthony family are good people. They were willing to take in Sandy’s mom and brother at a time when those people were having issues. It is troubling that they had to cancel the planned rummage sale due to the cost and “lack of interest.” There’s no immediate family or personal friends willing to spare a room or two for the Anthony family plus room for the goats? He says he’s willing to help with chores and light construction.
I don’t have a problem with their former lifestyle. There was a time when they could afford it. If the $5,555 mortgage figure is accurate then that translates to an income of $18,517 per month assuming the bank used the 30% of income rule when calculating the Anthony’s refinance.
AntiochArrow, by the time they asked for help they were deep in the hole. At least eight months behind is over $44,000 not counting other debts. If they have not pared expenses at all then they also need $18,517 every month. It’s unrealistic for people to pitch in at a level that would make a dent in those kind of problems. Even if each of the 19 people listed on their “thank you” page had given them $1000 it would only have put off foreclosure for another month. This was a problem years in the making. It won't get fixed by a rummage sale.
Unfortunately, people having medical and financial problems are also likely to be suffering from depression which make them less likely or able to do that planned transition to a cheaper lifestyle as income was down. Another issue is that medical expenses are far, far, out of line with what most people can afford. Medical insurance is designed to spread the cost around but most families can’t even afford the $1000/month that Kaiser is asking.
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Current Posts: 85
A agree with posters regarding the Anthony family's excessive spending, and missing information from the story. Rowena Coetsee states that the purpose of the story was not to engender sympathy, but what about the Anthony's purpose for this story? They have attempted to solicit money via the internet, including from the website hope4anthonyfamily.com that was active as recently as June 26, 2009. This website also states that the family owned two homes in 2000, more proof of their over spending. Also, I find it interesting that the CA Contractor License Board shows no Don Anthony currently or previously licensed as a General Contractor in Knightsen; or at least my search was unsuccessful. A contractor building homes must be licensed by law. More questions than answers with this story.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
First I do need to say that the health issues are very sad and for that they do have my sympathy. I do not wish bad health on anyone.
The financial story can be seen all accross America. I remember years ago when we bought our home the real estate agent and bank both tried to get us to borrow more andn buy a bigger house far more expensive than what we wanted or needed.
I was not willing to go in that deep. I did not think it wise even though I could have afforded it.
Way too many people took what they could because if the bank would let you have it it must be ok. So stupid.
Joined: Nov 2006
Current Posts: 396
I always find it interesting the assumptions that people make...
"... Buying this boat had to be one of the dumbest things you could possibly buy. Buying a boat is a terrible investment. Six figures in the bay area is NOT that much. They could NOT afford this boat... "
Why assume that their Six figures had a 1 in front of it? Perhaps their six figures started with a 5 or a 7. Why does EVERYTHING have to be purchased as an investment? That boat may have given this family the best memories of their lives. I don't know, but neither does anyone else.
"... the family owned two homes in 2000, more proof of their over spending... "
Perhaps their second home was a rental, thus generating funds. Or they bought it as a flip. Or any other myriad of reasons.
"... interesting that the CA Contractor License Board shows no Don Anthony currently or previously licensed as a General Contractor in Knightsen..."
Perhaps he's doing business under a DBA name or a company name. Perhaps his license was granted where his business is located rather than Knightsen. Or any other myriad of reasons.
"... Anyone with any sense knows that in today's economy you need at least a year's worth of income saved in case of job loss..." (Another poster said 6 months)
According to the article, it can safely be assumed that Mr. Anthony has missed several YEARS worth of work since 2000. In addition, he used his savings and kids college money to make ends meet in the interim. It sounds to me as though he had well over a years worth of savings but has since gone through it. Being unable to work along with the medical expenses (regardless if they HAD or HAVE insurance) can cause expenses to mount faster than most people realize.
A number of you seem to be more than willing to pass judgement on this man and cite your own superior life choices and kick this man while he is down. Could he have made other choices? Of course he could have. Perhaps he should have foreseen all of the medical maladies and economic downturns but he didn't. I imagine he thought things would turn around for him and his family and he made the mistake of hoping against hope. I only hope that each of you don't have to experience the unfortunate side of life that sometimes hits some familes while sparing others.
Joined: Apr 2008
Current Posts: 3
When I read this story, I had mixed emotions, and I asked my mother to read it and share her thoughts, since she is a more compassionate soul than I. She, as well, had mixed reviews. I wasn't sure, initially, of the intention of the article, or what reactions we were expected to have.
We have experienced cancer in our families and we completely sympathize with the physical, emotional, and family toll it takes. The financial ramifications are horrific for those who don't have proper coverage. Let this be a wake-up call to do a "check-up" of your health insurance coverages, life insurance policies, and they even sell "cancer insurance" now. We have it.
We were uncertain what the loss of all 4 parents had to do with any of it, other than to add a little more drama to the past decade. Many people lose parents and it doesn't throw them into financial distress, unless they are financially dependent on those parents, and that financial support would stop.
It is sad that many families including the Anthonys have had such a fall from better times. Many people "overlifestyled"... and those of who did not, are rightly so, a little bitter that we have watched our property values plummet and our income tax liabilities soar... I think the article was to show yet another example of the countless similar stories of how most people are one tragedy away from financial devastation.
We personally watch Suze Orman every weekend, and years ago, we took heed with the "8 month fund". I am self-employed, and when the market turned in 2008, and when we got very close to having to dip into our 8 month fund, I sprang into action, and sold our newer car and drove the older one a little longer, and I went and got myself a steady paycheck job, as fast as I could. Luckily I ended up having a change in the business, and was able to continue being self-employed and declined the steady paycheck job offer. I am ever mindful of keeping my savings account full, paying down debt, and always keeping my eyes open for whatever I would have to do, should my business suffer another setback. When things get close to the edge, you have to act swiftly and make tough decisions and be willing to work as hard as our grandparents did in years of long ago. I had the opportunity and encouragement by most to move to a larger home in 2006, and though I wanted to, I resisted, as we had smartly refinanced (no cash out) to a fixed rate mortgage in 2005. Thankfully, if I have to go cut lawns or drive a cab, I would still be able to afford my modest mortgage. This is not to say that I am better or smarter than anyone else, BUT I do study, read, listen, pay attention, and ask questions of those "in the know" so I can make smart and fast decisions that come to action.
My heart goes out to the Anthonys for their pain. I hope their health improves so they can begin the long task of rebuilding their lives. Once you hit the bottom, there is only way you can go from there.
Joined: May 2006
Current Posts: 166
I hope my family never has to face the medical issues this family is currently dealing with. Absent medical issues many families have alternatives to right their proverbial wayward ship. Unfortunately those medical issues, and the bills that come with them, don't leave many with viable choices.
My heart goes out to the Anthony's and I wish them the best in these very trying times. My heart also goes out to the countless others in our community that are suffering a similar fate but are not portrayed in the media. We may hear about them but we all know they're out there.
Joined: Jul 2009
Current Posts: 3
I dont expect anyone to listen to me, all i ask is to be heard. They aren't the same, i'm sure many folks know. just letting the ones, who dont, know (double speak?). Of (my) course, take what you want from it. The world is a vague place, and i grew up just watching it grow, with me.
Honestly, i dont believe in the media anymore. But, I'm a good actor. so maybe i belong with other actors, like myself. However, as i have been recently humbled by events in my 'Real Life', i've just learned to be vague. And allow others to take what they see of me, not what i say. Although, i have the common sense to know some folks won't. Because, let's just be real, the world boils down to ingnorance, and bliss. However, ingnorance is not always bliss. Inlight of the fact that i've come to terms with who i am, as an actor. I have become, a real actor.
In conclusion, i don't expect anyone to listen. I mean shoot i'm an ex-private university student, however i yern to be a present, at least to the rest of the world. I may not know how to capitalize my subjective i's, but 'i' is not always my subject. News is subjective, so are all the words used to convey said news, as well, as mine are. I may not know grammar, but i have the basics down (we all have to start somehow, late bloomer, early riser; Both are similar [never sane, to describe your self one way. But you folks already knew that much. You read the 'news'. Don't ever listen.] in my mind.). Essentially, i am humble, a writer; But humble.
Thank you all for listening, or atleast hearing, i just needed to talk aloud, or online, that's my guess.
-B.Japti
If any questions should arise, i can be e-mailed at, Brian_japti@Yahoo.com.
Yes, it is my real name. To me, being real (atleast when it comes to print) is more important than thinking i know whats real, and the only news i "follow" is in plain writing.
P.S. (This is how i take notes, to my editor. Allow me to know what you think of me. Please.)
P.S.S. [these are notes, to myself]
P.P.S.S.(learned it all in high school. Things didnt get real, until after) As a friend, between us two (you and I), check my writing. The bold was just to get your attention. Email me, if you saw past it, Mister or Miss(es) [just covering my bases, i used to be a team player. However the world is a confusing place, to BRIAN_JAPTI@YAHOO.COM. Never to Brian-Japti, that (humble)man, is real.] editor.
Joined: Jul 2009
Current Posts: 3
You're smart m'am. I identify with you, so far as being touched by cancer. On my mother's side, and it was tearing me up. I've learned to be ruthless though, not selfish. Just have the intelligence to know everyone is selfish. However, i am a firm believer in timing, and hope. Hope is a very operative word in my world, what's your verb?
Thanks.
BRIAN_JAPTI@YAHOO.com
I empathize, along with you.
Joined: Sep 2007
Current Posts: 4
for some reason this reminded me of the story of Lot in the bible.
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
The health issues are terrible to be certain. We will all face them sooner or later.
The financial issues though could and should have been avoided. It is not personal just my opinion.
I wish the family good health and a brighter future.
Joined: Jun 2009
Current Posts: 4
cut it out!!! quit kicking a man when he is down!! Do you not think he already feels like he has failed his family??? He had plenty of savings so shut your mouths. "He who is without sin shall cast the first stone" Who would have guessed your wife would get cancer, the housing market would nosedive, and the economy would go down and unemployment would go up -all within a few year time period!! And yes, some of those "extra" homes were their family members. and I'm quite sure these people are probably severely depressed--who wouldn't be. Illness + depression= not able to function. Cut this family some slack. I would hate to see them living out of their truck someday-wouldn't you.....
Joined: Jul 2008
Current Posts: 1074
I dont want to see them homeless, depressed or otherwise distressed. They are real people not criminals.
I will be paying for their bad fortune and bad decisions. Same with the stupid banks and car companies.
There is a culture in our country that is causing this.
Joined: Nov 2006
Current Posts: 396
Just know that if you find yourself unemployed and unable to work either due to physical limitations or an economy that hits your sector of employment (I've known IT people out of work for more than 3 years in a row - and it wasn't like they weren't trying to find employment - even the "so-called" minimum wage jobs). If a succession of physical and emotional tragedies befall you and your family. You lose your wife or children to a horrific disease. You suddenly develop Alzheimer’s at 50. If any of these things happen, just know that I and most other feeling, compassionate people will be more than happy to help support you and/or your remaining family by whatever means we can. We won't lecture you on what you could have done in the past because we will believe that you know what mistakes you may have made. God forbid any of these things happen to you, but know that there are some people out there who care more about others than themselves. Thanks.
Joined: Mar 2008
Current Posts: 270
Per what Sandy wrote on their web site they ran out of money before the economy went south and they lost medical coverage a year or two later. Presumably coverage was lost as they could not keep up on the premium payments. While Don has hip issues it does not seem to have impacted his ability to run his construction business. Thus much of their financial state seems to result from their personal choices for which they did not take a single iota of responsibility for in the article or on the web site. I believe that's what's irritating people.
Sandy's condition is tragic and also has gotten to the point where a "best wishes" seems empty. The family is dealing with loosing a mom and wife. Had the article’s focus been on this aspect of their life then the tone of comment written here are likely to have been far different.