Posted on Monday, 3/30/2009 - 5:53 a.m. PDT — by roygur
> > > HOW IS NORMA?
> >
> > How is Norma ?
> > A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's
> > Hospital. She timidly asked,
> > 'Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell
> > me how a patient is
> > doing?'
> >
> > The operator said, 'I'll be glad to help,
> > dear. What's the name and room
> > number?'
> > The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,
> > 'Norma Findlay Room 302.'
> > The operator replied, 'Let me place you on hold
> > while I check with her
> > Nurse
> >
> > After a few minutes, the operator returned to the
> > phone and said, 'Oh, I
> > have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is
> > doing very well.
> > Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came
> > back as normal, and
> > Her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be
> > discharged on Tuesday.'
> >
> > The grandmother said, 'Thank you. That's
> > wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good
> > news.'
> > The operator replied, 'You're more than
> > welcome. Is Norma your daughter?'
> > The grandmother said, 'No, I'm Norma Findlay
> > in 302. No one tells me s**t.'
Joined: Sep 2006
Current Posts: 1928
Funny Roy, been there.
Joined: Dec 2008
Current Posts: 225
Two years ago, I had knee replacement surgery and when I woke up back in the hospital room, the doctor said " hi, I'm doctor Ravi Shankar." My wife said I turned white as a sheet and started to shake. the doctor took my pluse and said my heart was racing and asked if I was all right. I had thought I died and was transfered back to the 60's. Scared the hell out of me!! True story
Joined: Mar 2006
Current Posts: 887
*Subject:* Southern Charm
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during
an endless wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the
California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my
husband built a beautiful mansion for me."
The lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband
bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz.. "
Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born,
my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet.
Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, isn't that precious?"
The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for
you when you had your first child?"
"My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady.
"Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?"
The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying "Who
gives a s--t?" I learned to say, "Well, isn't that precious".
Roy Gursky .. http://gurskyranch.com
Joined: Jan 2008
Current Posts: 515
There is a great joke out about a CHEMO...patient but wont waste valuable space on here. Can email it to you all.
"Oh what a tangled web they weave when they set out to deceive" @The Web is set www. patiently.
Joined: Mar 2006
Current Posts: 887
Don't bother. I'm a CHEMO PATIENT, and doubt anything about that would be funny...feel free to be obnoxious, however.
Roy Gursky .. http://gurskyranch.com
Joined: Mar 2006
Current Posts: 887
THE PERFECT HUSBAND
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat.. It's only $1, 500. Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: ' $12 5,000'
MAN: 'OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $2 ,050,000' for it.
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $1, 850,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $2 00,000 because it's really a pretty good price.'
WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you, too.'
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
Roy Gursky .. http://gurskyranch.com
Joined: Mar 2006
Current Posts: 887
FW: April Fool Day! A little bit late, but it's kind of cute ! !
Roy Gursky .. http://gurskyranch.com
Joined: Mar 2006
Current Posts: 887
FW: sign in an Indiana store window Sign in an INDIANA store window
'WE WOULD RATHER DO
BUSINESS WITH 1000
AL QAEDA TERRORISTS
THAN WITH ONE SINGLE
AMERICAN SOLDIER!'
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Whiting, Indiana . You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement.
However, we are a society which holds freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty.
And after all, it is just a sign.
You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign.
Answer:
Owen's Funeral Home
You gotta love it!!!
God Bless America !!!
Roy Gursky .. http://gurskyranch.com