LindaMermaid:

Based on what you've written, I'm not sure you understood what the coach meant when he said they had 16 at bats. I believe he was talking about the particular game in question. Because of the so-called "mercy rule", the game was stopped prior to its regular completion. Had the game continued, he was telling you that your grandson would indeed have gotten his turn to play. Because the game didn't finish normally, the coach didn't have a chance to play all his kids. There are ways around this, but most coaches who are under the "all play" rule wait until the last two innings of a game to play their backups. I actually don't agree with that method (In competitive "all play" leagues, I have always played my "benchwarmers" first and then pulled them after their two innings and their at bats), but it is the most common used.

You state the coach here was "... wrong and he knew it..." He was NOT wrong. You may disagree with him, but you both have your OPINIONS; neither is right or wrong. You also commented on his motivation for coaching. Unless you can read his mind, or he has said something specific to backup your assertion, you can't honestly say why he is coaching. You MAY be right; but as a High School and youth coach myself, I seriously doubt it. I'm not naive enough to believe that there aren't youth coaches out there operating under questionable motives; I know there are and I've seen them personally. But, from what I read in your account, this coach doesn't seem like he fits that particular mold.

You then made a comment about the coach wondering why the "benchwarmers" have no enthusiasm for the team. Did HE ask this question of you, or did you assume that this was on his mind? Almost every youth coach has a kid on their team, regardless of the sport. I was an exception to this rule as my own son wanted nothing to do with athletics while growing up. However, if that's what you believe is causing the problem, then I would seriously suggest you find other activities for your grandson. From my experience, I don't think you can avoid it in youth sports.

So what lesson are these 3 kids learning?

The lesson they are hopefully learning is that in order to compete in sport (and in life), one needs to train and work hard and, as you stated earlier in your comments, earn the spot. Not everyone can be the star baseball player, just like not everyone can be the star computer programmer or the star salesperson. The idea is to get the most out of yourself. Sometimes your most isn't as much as someone else's.

You state that there should be some hard and fast rules for coaching kids and that the coaches should be held accountable. If this league is part of the National Little League; I believe that there ARE hard and fast rules. I haven't coached Little League for a number of years, but when I did, there were two games a week. Each player was required to play AT LEAST two innings in the field for EVERY game and was required to get AT LEAST one at bat a week (or every two games). When I played and coached, we didn't have a "Mercy Rule", so I can't tell you what affect that has on the above rules I mentioned. I HOPE that it doesn't change them.

Justamom1:

Your points are well made and well taken, but for every parent like yourself, there are two who support and promote the "win at all cost" mentality. As a youth coach, frankly if I had my way, I would BAN ALL PARENTS from attending their kids’ games. At a minimum, perhaps an isolated sound-proof room from where they could watch the games. Your comments about the activity being in place to "uplift the skill as well as the confidence of EVERY child out there" is a well-intended and noble pursuit. If you have found a league where this is taking place, then NEVER leave it, because they are few are far between.

Bill2424:

It is with you that I take the greatest offense. Your experience is that only 5-10% of Little League coaches actually belong as coaches? That's a brilliant comment that has no ability to be proven or not. Let me ask you a question; Have YOU ever volunteered to coach youth sports? Or are you one of the millions of parents that just sit back and complain about the so-called inability of your kids’ coaches. You comment that parents coach to ensure that their kids get the best positions and the most playing time. I can tell you from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that you are DEAD WRONG about this. I have known literally DOZENS of Mom's & Dad's that have volunteered their time and watched their own kids as backups. Several of my own assistants over the years have been the parents of kids in the exact same situation as described in the original post.

I challenge your comment that VERY few Little Leagues give parents the playing time rules at the beginning of the season. First of all, just HOW MANY Little Leagues have YOU personally been involved with? As a career youth and HS coach, I have been involved with 8 personally. ALL EIGHT handed out the league rules, INCLUDING rules about playing time at the time of SIGN UP. You say that SOME leagues have a rule; get it right - ALL national little leagues have a playing time rule. It's been there since I played as a kid more than 40 years ago!

HDohm:

Thanks for your insight. It sounds to me as though your youth coaching experience is more recent than my own. I've focused on HS coaching for a number of years now and have been removed from youth coaching for a while.

You are certainly right in that there are coaches who stress winning more than they should, especially at the younger youth levels.

ALL:

I've experienced for years, the vitriol about coaches and how terrible they are and what a horrible job that they do with kids. And, yes, some qualify. But it's my experience that MOST are volunteering because they CARE about the kids. It's interesting that if you volunteer for a charitable organization or for a fund raising event, you are lauded as a great and wonderful person. But if you coach a youth sport, you have a dozen or more parents berating you, telling you how things REALLY need to be. It is a thankless and difficult task. Except for the kids. If you are a good coach, those kids will stand by you forever. And that's why I continue coaching. I've seen coaches physically attacked, verbally abused and some very good coaches have left because of the behavior of parents. And THAT is a MUCH bigger problem than any assumed poor coaching. So when a coach says, "if you don't like it, volunteer and coach yourself", it's not because he "knows he's wrong". It's because he's tired. He's tired of fighting a seemingly never ending battle with parents who CLAIM they know better but are unwilling to actually GET INVOLVED.

As a High School coach I wrote the following in response to a post a while back. I think it lends itself well to this discussion:

Essentially, it is as simple as setting expectations. A coach needs to speak with his/her team and explain clearly what is expected of them. This includes not only expectations on the field or court, but away from them as well. Personal behavior and scholastic expectations along with expectations during practice and games (I also include off-season in this when I meet with my kids prior to the first practice).

This should be done not only verbally, but in writing as well. A contract needs to take place between the student and the coach. I also include my own commitment to my players (to do my best to teach and help my students improve both athletically and academically) and I sign each contract in front of each individual player (and their parents when possible). I also set up a meeting to which I ask every parent to attend together (when I started in coaching, I was lucky to get 25% attendance, now I get over 90%). At this meeting, always before the first game of the season, I explain our team goals for the season and the methods I intend to use to help their children achieve these goals. I discuss the concept of team play, and expectations of playing time. I explain that, depending upon game situations; that not all kids are guaranteed to see playing time.

Although I do not discuss it, I do have a personal policy surrounding special teams play, where I attempt to let every kid on my teams get on the field. I've never regretted doing so. At this meeting, I also ask my parents to be on their best behavior as well. I don't expect booing of officials, opponents or poor play. Essentially, I ask them to be role models for not only their own children, but for all the kids in the stands as well. What I have found over the years is that if you explain to parents what your goals are and your methods to accomplish your goals, they are far less likely to complain about playing time, play calling and anything else for that matter. When you add expectations surrounding their own behavior, and the reasons for these expectations, they seem to take the responsibility seriously. As much as anything, it's a matter of respect. Respect for the kids and respect for their parents. My experience is when I show it them, I get it back in spades.

UNICEF recognizes the critical role of sport and physical play in children’s lives.

At the most fundamental level, sport and play are a child’s right, as detailed in article 31 of the Convention on the Rights of the Child: States shall “recognize the right of the child to rest and leisure, to engage in play and recreational activities appropriate to the age of the child and to participate freely in cultural life and the arts."

Added to this is the broad consensus that regular physical activity is essential for the physical, mental, psychological and social development of children and adolescents. Involvement in sport can boost children’s health, improve academic performance and help reduce crime.

UNICEF believes that sport can be an effective programmatic tool to help achieve goals in health, education, gender equality, HIV/AIDS, child protection and child development. That is the concept of sport for development – that sport is not just an end in itself, but also an effective tool to help improve the lives of children, families and communities.

Sport, recreation and play are a fun way to learn values and lessons that will last a life time. They promote friendship and fair play. They teach team work, discipline, respect, and the coping skills necessary to ensure that children develop into caring individuals. They help prepare young people to meet the challenges they will face and to take leadership roles within their communities.

UNICEF uses sport festivals and games to educate families about health issues, including the need for vaccination and HIV/AIDS prevention. UNICEF supports programmes that use the power of sport to reach children and adolescents who are often excluded and discriminated against, including orphans, children with disabilities, former child soldiers, refugee and displaced children, sexually exploited children and children from indigenous communities.

With our partners, UNICEF is incorporating opportunities for sport, recreation and play into country programmes to reach children, families and communities around the world. In countries at peace and at war, these activities are being used to promote good health, encourage girls' education, create child-friendly spaces and warn about the harmful effects of smoking, alcohol and drug abuse. They are educating young people on the dangers of HIV/AIDS and empowering them with the life skills necessary to protect themselves.

Sport and recreation programs are creating environments that are safe and promote stable relationships between children and adults, and among children themselves. They are providing children of all ages with opportunities to express themselves, to contribute their voice, opinions and ideas, and to become agents for change. They are helping to build communities and are contributing to a more just and peaceful society.

I have to agree with epcthree, yes, the mercy rule was called, otherwise your grandson would have batted.

In league play there is a 'lineup' and you must bat according to its order. If you add a player to the game, he goes in the spot of the person he is replacing, thus some may bat a second time before the newcomer gets to bat.

That's baseball.

Now while Little Leagues have adjusted a lot of the rules to give more kids a chance, it will never be completely fair to everyone, from everyones point of view, but they do the best they can.

So in this case it was the rules of the league with the 'mercy rule' that caused your grandson not to bat, not the coach.

Now about coaches, from what I know, but I could be wrong, they are volunteers, if they do get paid, it would be minimal. They have chosen to take an active role that not only benefits their kids, but yours and all of the others on the team.

I am not a coach but a "Big Brother" from the mentoring "Big Brothers & Big Sisters", my "little" plays in the league and I go to 90% of his games. What is sad, is the fact that at most of the games I have been to the past couple of years is the fact that only handful of parents watch the games and it is usually the same ones each week.

I watch the grief that the coaches get from the kids to the parents, and it is unjustified. Yes, some coaches are better then others in skill, or how they play the game, etc, but a coach does not do it to make a 'private team' for his son. Whatever it was that got him (them) into coaching goes well beyond that, and as you see, there are no private teams.

Do some coaches kids get more playing time then other kids? Perhaps, is that fair? Maybe not.

If you want to really help your grandson, which I believe you do, be a positive factor at the games, step up and talk to the coach and see how you can help, maybe it is as simple as helping some other kids get to the games, to keeping score. Take your grandson to the batting cages to help him with his batting, encourage him to practice with other teammates or friends.