Posted on Sun, 09/07/2008 - 11:22 — by BazookaJoe
Now I know some people will make funny sausage jokes and buns, er... puns, but this is serious! Here's the hotlink, er..uh... link... UGH!!!! Never mind!  The whole story is posted below:
Burglar victims wake to spice rub, sausage attack
A burglar who broke into a home just east of Fresno rubbed spices over the body of one of two men as they slept in their rooms and then used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man on the face and head before running out of the house, Fresno County sheriff's deputies said Saturday.
Lt. Ian Burrimond, describing the crime as one of the strangest he's ever heard of, said a suspect was found hiding in a nearby field a few minutes later and taken into custody on suspicion of residential robbery.
Deputies, he said, had no problem linking the suspect to the crime.
"It seems the guy ran out of the house wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, leaving behind his wallet with his ID," Burrimond said.
Arrested was Antonio Vasquez, 22, of Fresno.
Burrimond said deputies headed to the victims' home in the 300 block of South Thompson Avenue near Kings Canyon Road shortly after 8 a.m. Saturday regarding a burglary in progress.
The victims, both farmworkers, told deputies they were awakened by a stranger applying spices to one of them and striking the other with a sausage.
Both the spices and the sausage, Burrimond said, reportedly were obtained from the victims' kitchen.
After the man fled, the victims discovered the home had been ransacked and that some money was taken, Burrimond said.
Burrimond said the money was recovered, but that the piece of sausage used in the attack was discarded by the suspect and eaten by a dog.
"That's right, the dog ate the weapon," Burrimond said.
"I tell you, this was one weird case."
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1723
How can someone continue to sleep while they are having spices "applied" and "rubbed" onto their body? It wasn't until the other guy got whacked in the face with an 8-inch sausage that they both woke up? It must have been a good dream to sleep through all of that.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3133
Well 001, those are questions that will have to come out in the investigation. Give the detectives time to collect the evidence, contrary to what people think, dogs don't always poop right after they eat. Spices aren't really deadly, so I don't think it's a taragon conclusion this was a crime. How were they all linked together?
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 717
:::Thud:::Â Wow . . . just . . . wow.
Some people are really heavy sleepers, but yah . . . someone touching me as I slept, much less tryin' to rub spices on me, would wake me right up.
Â
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"I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic."
— Lisa Alther
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2152
I saw that story this morning and was going to link it but you beat me to it. What I want to know is, was that sausage registered and did it have a lock on it?
I know what I learned from this story: I'm keeping my sausage under my pillow from now on just in case I need it in an emergency.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1723
Which sausage assaulted that guy? Here is the unofficial police lineup:
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 802
I would have to say that the guy that got hit with the sausage got the WURST of it. But I'm sure that did not CURRY any sympathy from the other guy.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 3133
LOL! That's a great police line up 001. Maybe Polish had a grudge against Chorizo and he set him up?
Maybe the perp thought they were vampires so he used garlic powder to ward one off, while the other guy got a tube steak through the heart?